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Pindexes: The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996)

This page has been censored for your viewing pleasure. Q is Geppetto; 008 is Pinocchio. Bold signifies inactive links; underlined text is a link.
 
0:00 New Line HV; Kushner Locke; Savoy; New Line Cinema 
0:01 (heart)GL; lightning strikes; title splash 
0:02 Q gets wood 
0:03 In the town, The Grape Escape board game commercial jingle is playing; pranksters spill Q’s wood pile. 
0:04 Q consults his creations 
0:05 Firewood hops; Q sees carved GL sign 
0:06 Begins to carve 008; hand jumps 
0:07 working on the head; cat is Nina not Figaro 
0:08 Q teaches 008 to walk and to say “excuse me coming through” and names him pine eye 
0:09 While Q bathes, 008’s eyes come to life. 
0:10 What the heck are these strings? 
0:11 008 sees Q bathing; Q thinks he’s lost his mind. 
0:12 This could be George Michael’s Father Figure. 008 climbs out the window. 
0:13 008 hangs with the Prince of Persia move
0:14 008 follows a bird, jumps off the roof, and falls into a pile of clothing. 
0:15 Leona comes into play. 
0:16 The kids notice the little wooden boy 
0:17 So do Fox and Katt
0:18 Q’s as confused as the rest of them; 008 meets a real boy. 
0:19 Follow the bouncing ball... 
0:20 Fox and Katt tell Fire-eater about their find. 
0:21 It is implied that the camera is in Rome or a nearby town; 008 is not for sale. 
0:22 But Fire-eater keeps trying. 
0:23 Boys do like bugs. 
0:24 The track; Q sold the emperor puppet to Fire-eater. 
0:25 The trek to school 
0:26 Is that Brad from Home Improvement? Does that make 008 Randy? Ever get termites? 
0:27 008 punches Lampwick. Teacher asks what happened? 008’s nose grows... 
0:28 ... even longer. 
0:29 Infantino can’t get the tissue in time. 
0:30 008 has to leave school. 
0:31 008 eats a “piece of cake.” 
0:32 And sparks fly. 
0:33 Q is under arrest. He has the right to remain silent. 
0:34 What is love? 
0:35 Cheep special effect for Pepe, 008’s cricket conscience. 
0:36 Pepe is trying to do the YMCA derivative PEPSI. 
0:37 008 and Pepe become friends. 
0:38 Case 491: The people vs. Malcolm Geppetto Baldini aka Q 
0:39 Q pleads guilty; he has to pay 30,000 lire (about US $20). Fire-eater pays 
0:40 in exchange for the puppet. 008 asks Q what’s a family? 
0:41 Q is freed, and 008 moves in with Fire-eater. 
0:42 I love you papa. 
0:43 I got no strings to hold me down. Woe to tyranny? Excuse me coming through! 
0:44 We’re Lilliputians, and here comes Lemuel Gulliver; where’s Figaro? 
0:45 Pepe warns 008 
0:46 Fire-eater eats red hot chili peppers 
0:47 Dinosaur spits fire. 
0:48 008 saves his brothers and sisters but he gotta find Bubba! 
0:49 He floats 
0:50 On the ground he comes back down 
0:51 Q heads for the forest; Pepe talks about Pine-Sol 
0:52 woodpecker. Huh huh, wood. I said pecker. 
0:53 Fox and Katt go to church. 
0:54 So does 008. 
0:55 All I need is a miracle. 
0:56 Money tree? 
0:57 008 watches paint dry. 
0:58 Pepe tells 008 it won’t work. 
0:59 Here come the donkeys and the donkey holes. 
1:00 Talks about the Web; loses his hat 
1:01 Welcome to Terra Magica 
1:02 Smash the signs 
1:03 Can Q swim? 
1:04 shoot the bugs 
1:05 All I wanna do is buy a gun 
1:06 And 008 gets shot; does blood run down the screen? 
1:07 The track again, and 008 laughs like Woody Woodpecker 
1:08 It’s a wooden coaster but it just went upside-down! 
1:09 They’re in the donkey hole. 
1:10 008’s not a jackdonkey. Fire-eater grabs the ears. 
1:11 008 discloses the nature of his nose action. 
1:12 Fire-eater is in the water, and he becomes Monstro the whale. 
1:13 The kids run away. 
1:14 Leona doesn’t know wood floats. There goes 008. 
1:15 Monstro eats 008. 
1:16 Crickets play cricket
1:17 The voice rings through. 
1:18 We’re in the throat. 008 lies to open the passage. His nose grows. 
1:19 Ow! It broke. Monstro sneezes them out. 
1:20 I learned mouth to mouth in French class
1:21 And 008 gets enough real flesh to look like a real boy. 
1:22 But JTT is even more wooden than the puppet, according to critics. 
1:23 Pilgrims my donkey. Pepe leaves. 
1:24 008 lies but there’s enough flesh covering his nose
1:25 And now Fox and Katt are the animals that they are. How about carving 008 a girlfriend
1:26 It’s over. Collodi’s name comes up. You can press rewind now. 
If you need explanation for one of my obscure cultural allusions, it’s probably already in boldface, and I’m working on it. ˙