| 0:00 |
New Line HV; Kushner Locke; Savoy; New Line Cinema |
| 0:01 |
(heart)GL; lightning strikes; title splash |
| 0:02 |
Q gets wood |
| 0:03 |
In the town, The Grape Escape board game commercial jingle is playing;
pranksters spill Q’s wood pile. |
| 0:04 |
Q consults his creations |
| 0:05 |
Firewood hops; Q sees carved GL sign |
| 0:06 |
Begins to carve 008; hand jumps |
| 0:07 |
working on the head; cat is Nina not
Figaro |
| 0:08 |
Q teaches 008 to walk and to say “excuse me coming through” and names
him pine eye |
| 0:09 |
While Q bathes, 008’s eyes come to life. |
| 0:10 |
What the heck are these strings? |
| 0:11 |
008 sees Q bathing; Q thinks he’s lost his mind. |
| 0:12 |
This could be George Michael’s Father
Figure. 008 climbs out the window. |
| 0:13 |
008 hangs with the Prince of Persia move. |
| 0:14 |
008 follows a bird, jumps off the roof, and falls into a pile of clothing. |
| 0:15 |
Leona comes into play. |
| 0:16 |
The kids notice the little wooden
boy |
| 0:17 |
So do Fox and Katt. |
| 0:18 |
Q’s as confused as the rest of them; 008 meets a real boy. |
| 0:19 |
Follow the bouncing ball... |
| 0:20 |
Fox and Katt tell Fire-eater about
their find. |
| 0:21 |
It is implied that the camera is in Rome or a nearby town; 008 is not
for sale. |
| 0:22 |
But Fire-eater keeps trying. |
| 0:23 |
Boys do like bugs. |
| 0:24 |
The track; Q sold the emperor puppet
to Fire-eater. |
| 0:25 |
The trek to school |
| 0:26 |
Is that Brad from Home Improvement? Does that make 008
Randy? Ever get termites? |
| 0:27 |
008 punches Lampwick. Teacher asks what happened? 008’s nose grows... |
| 0:28 |
... even longer. |
| 0:29 |
Infantino can’t get the tissue in time. |
| 0:30 |
008 has to leave school. |
| 0:31 |
008 eats a “piece of cake.” |
| 0:32 |
And sparks fly. |
| 0:33 |
Q is under arrest. He has the right to remain silent. |
| 0:34 |
What is love? |
| 0:35 |
Cheep special effect for Pepe, 008’s cricket conscience. |
| 0:36 |
Pepe is trying to do the YMCA derivative PEPSI. |
| 0:37 |
008 and Pepe become friends. |
| 0:38 |
Case 491: The people vs. Malcolm Geppetto Baldini aka
Q |
| 0:39 |
Q pleads guilty; he has to pay 30,000 lire (about US $20). Fire-eater
pays |
| 0:40 |
in exchange for the puppet. 008 asks Q what’s a family? |
| 0:41 |
Q is freed, and 008 moves in with Fire-eater. |
| 0:42 |
I love you papa. |
| 0:43 |
I got no strings to hold me down. Woe to tyranny? Excuse me coming
through! |
| 0:44 |
We’re Lilliputians, and here comes Lemuel Gulliver; where’s
Figaro? |
| 0:45 |
Pepe warns 008 |
| 0:46 |
Fire-eater eats red hot chili peppers |
| 0:47 |
Dinosaur spits fire. |
| 0:48 |
008 saves his brothers and sisters but he gotta find Bubba! |
| 0:49 |
He
floats |
| 0:50 |
On the ground he comes back down |
| 0:51 |
Q heads for the forest; Pepe talks about Pine-Sol |
| 0:52 |
woodpecker. Huh huh, wood. I said pecker. |
| 0:53 |
Fox and Katt go to church. |
| 0:54 |
So does 008. |
| 0:55 |
All I need is a miracle. |
| 0:56 |
Money tree? |
| 0:57 |
008 watches paint dry. |
| 0:58 |
Pepe tells 008 it won’t work. |
| 0:59 |
Here come the donkeys and the donkey holes. |
| 1:00 |
Talks about the Web; loses his hat |
| 1:01 |
Welcome to Terra Magica |
| 1:02 |
Smash the signs |
| 1:03 |
Can Q swim? |
| 1:04 |
shoot the bugs |
| 1:05 |
All I wanna do is buy a gun |
| 1:06 |
And 008 gets shot; does
blood run down the screen? |
| 1:07 |
The track again, and 008 laughs like Woody Woodpecker |
| 1:08 |
It’s a wooden coaster but it just went upside-down! |
| 1:09 |
They’re in the donkey hole. |
| 1:10 |
008’s not a jackdonkey. Fire-eater grabs the ears. |
| 1:11 |
008 discloses the nature of his nose action. |
| 1:12 |
Fire-eater is in the water, and he becomes Monstro
the whale. |
| 1:13 |
The kids run away. |
| 1:14 |
Leona doesn’t know wood floats. There goes 008. |
| 1:15 |
Monstro eats 008. |
| 1:16 |
Crickets play cricket. |
| 1:17 |
The voice rings through. |
| 1:18 |
We’re in the throat. 008 lies to open the passage. His nose
grows. |
| 1:19 |
Ow! It broke. Monstro sneezes them out. |
| 1:20 |
I learned mouth to mouth in French class. |
| 1:21 |
And 008 gets enough real flesh to look like a real boy. |
| 1:22 |
But JTT is even more wooden than the puppet, according to critics. |
| 1:23 |
Pilgrims my donkey. Pepe leaves. |
| 1:24 |
008 lies but there’s enough flesh covering his nose. |
| 1:25 |
And now Fox and Katt are the animals that they are. How about carving
008 a girlfriend? |
| 1:26 |
It’s over. Collodi’s name comes up. You can press rewind now. |
If you need explanation for one of my obscure cultural allusions, it’s
probably already in boldface, and I’m working on it.